Burglary or Is This Anyway to Solicit a Yard?

So as we left for dinner a few night ago we saw the police cars before a neighbor's house two doors up. He was on the front yard with two officers. "Hmm, wonder what that is about?" we wondered.

The person is a retired school teacher. I'll tell you how bad times have become. First thought came to my wife's mind was a drug bust. There's been a couple nearby recently. I was even worse. First words out of my mouth were, "Child porn on the computer?" Terrible thing to think of a neighbor, but that's what you see in the news so much these days, some former worker with children arrested for child pornography. No matter where our evil thoughts went, what it was was a burglary.

Didn't know that yet. Looked online and in the paper next day, but nothing about our area in the crime reports. How often do we see a curious situation and never find out what the reasons were? A number of times actually.

The next night my daughter comes home from work announcing as she enters, "Why are the police all over the street."

I looked out and there were a couple cop cars up in front of that neighbor's again. Now a couple hours later, when we had guests stop by, the police were gone.

My visitors didn't stay long, maybe a half hour, and I walked them out to the street as they left. The police were back again. Two officers were across the street talking with the occupants. Meanwhile, I spent sometime talking with my friends, who were my pastor and two elders from my church. They didn't look the stereotypical such. We're not your grandmother's church, I guess. One elder had arrived by Harley-Davidson and they're big fellows with tattoos and such. And while we are gabbing the police amble down and motion me over.

"You live around here?" asks the uniformed officer. The other must be a detective.

"Right here," I say, pointing to my house.

He takes my name, birth date, telephone number and blood pressure. Naw, he really didn't take that last. He tells me there was a burglary two doors up. Then he asks if I saw a person mowing the lawn there a few days ago. No, I hadn't. He didn't tell me anything else. He did ask if I'd seen anything suspicious lately.

Why, yes I did, yes I did.

Maybe it's nothing, but I told them anyway.

It was the other day, I am on the computer and my wife calls me. "There are guys going around people's homes with clipboards."

I  rushed out to see and sure enough I saw a guy wandering from the side of the house on the corner. He indeed had a clipboard and seemed to be making notes. My wife told me there was a guy next door all the way into the backyard. While she says this the fellow came from that house and went to the driver's side of a white car parked on the street.

I hurried back to the computer room to snatch my glasses and my camera. As I returned I saw the white car pulled past our place and stopped and a fellow walking down our driveway. "Did he knock on the door?" I asked my wife.

"No," she said.

I was just going out my front door when the white car drove off with the two guys. I decided to follow and catch them and ask what they were doing. I drive after, but I lost them. They must not have stopped anywhere in the neighborhood. I wanted to get a picture of the car and license. We didn't know there had been a burglary yet, but this was suspicious behavior nonetheless.

As I was returning from my fruitless search for the clipboard guys, I notice the lady in the corner house in her yard. I go to her and ask about the clipboard guys.

"They were Scott's Yard care," she tells me. "They were real pushy, too."

I went in my house and called Scott's Lawn Care and asked if they had crews out surveying yards. The lady who answered said they did.

I said, "Their car didn't have any name on it."

She said, "Our sales crews don't use the trucks." She continued, "They knock on the door and leave a flyer."

Okay, but no one knocked on my door and there was no flyer left. I don't like people walking about my house making notes on a clipboard. I liked the idea even less when that cop told me there was a burglary two homes away.

Next day I went across to the corner house and asked if they left her a flyer. "No," she said. "He held something out, but when I reached for it he snatched it back. 'You're keeping it?', I asked and he said, 'Yeah.'"

As I left her I saw the neighbor across the street was out and about. He's a long time friend so I wandered over and told him my tale.

"They came up the drive," he said, "and I said , 'No, not interested.' They didn't want to take no for an answer, but I don't need them bothering me."

"Did they give you a flyer?"

"No. They said if I you wouldn't hear them out they couldn't give you one."

Is that anyway to try to sell your services, if indeed these guys were really from Scott's. If they were, I suggest Scott's rethink their training. If they weren't, I hope Scott's takes note they are being misrepresented by some people who may be casing neighborhoods for other purposes.

Glory Be, the Lord Must Know How I love Tomatoes!

A lot of people not in the know think Adam and Eve ate an apple. I like apples, too, but if God wanted to challenge my obedience and make it difficult to resist temptation, the Forbidden Fruit would have been a Tomato. (And just recently it was, but more of that later.)

The tomato is a fruit, you know. How do you know? It has seeds. So are cucumbers, green beans and squash - fruit, that is, but this whole vegetable fruit thing gets all confused.

When I was a teenager one of my summer jobs was loading tomato trucks to haul this fruit to the ketchup (or catsup if you prefer) factories. That was hard labor. These were flatbed trailers on 18-wheelers, perhaps 50 feet long and over 8 feet wide and you stacked these bushel baskets well above my head, and I was six foot by then. That is a lot of hoisting and lifting and stacking, all out in the open farm fields of Lancaster County, Pennsylvania in the hot July and August sun.

This was Amish country and the baskets would arrive at truck side on horse drawn wagons. The

bearded-farmer and perhaps his fresh-faced son would hand up the baskets (which usually came on more than one wagon) and the truck driver and I would begin stacking them from the front to the back. For a teenage boy high on hormones the one reward (besides the pay of $10.00 per load) were the spectators. Those rosy-cheeked Amish girls would gather along the side and gawk at us all the live-long day, silent and smiling.  They had rosy cheeks and twinkling eyes and it made you feel quite the little celebrity.

One summer before I had worked the fields of a Chester County farm picking tomatoes. I was the guy shuttling along the vines filling the baskets. It was still July and August and the sun was still hot, and the  tomatoes were lighter one by one than lifting a whole basket, but the job was just plain miserable. It was dusty and every time you plucked off a fruit the Daddy-Long-Legs would come scrambling out of the vines and up your arms. And there weren't any pretty bystander females to boost your ego; nothing but some other dirt-encrusted, sweating guys swatting away the the Harvestman arachnids.

Now you're probably thinking with that kind of background relationship with tomatoes I would hate

them. But you'd be wrong. I love tomatoes. You give me a plate of sliced beefsteak tomatoes with some corn-on-the-cob and it is as good as a Thanksgiving dinner to me. I love tomatoes in my sandwiches, in my salads, stewed or as a soup. You'd be surprised, maybe, by how hard it is to escape the tomato. The stuff is in a lot of sauces, so you get pasta you often get some form of tomato extract draped upon it. They are in that covering under the cheese and pepperoni of your pizza and forming a dark, delicious lake around your franks and beans. There those pieces falling out of your taco and that color in your hoagie; oh man, the hoagie! And how many things go better with the aforementioned ketchup?

But three weeks ago I was told no more tomatoes, not in soups, not sliced, diced or chopped, not fried or stewed, not as juice, ketchup or sauce, probably told not even to look at pictures of them. This was the forbidden fruit along with onions and mustard and coffee and chocolate and...well, basically, if I liked it, I couldn't have it. Speaking, as we did earlier, of Adam and Eve, I kinda felt like they must have after being booted from the Garden. No more tomatoes, utter despair!

And you go to a restaurant and try and find anything on the menu that doesn't contain tomato, mustard, garlic, onions, spices or a whole chorus of joyeous songs of flavors now banned from my concert. Forgit'about it!

But today I went back to the Star Trek Doctor, who went where no man had gone before, peeking

through my body from both ends. That probing had occurred three weeks ago and today was the summarization of the voyage. Captain's Log May 1, 2013, the biopsies were negative. The bleeding ulcer in the duodenum was cauterized, I guess, at least no more bleeding, but the angioectasia in the cecum (dilated blood vessels in the colon) weren't because, "If it ain't broke, we don't fix it". There is nothing cancerous.  The only new medication is a prescription for omeprazole (the active ingredient in Prilosec), which will join my Levothyroxine as a morning ritual for the next 30 years. I know, I'm being awfully optimistic since I am almost 72 now.

I write this with appreciation to those who were concerned for my well-being and for the prayers of those I know prayed regularly for my health and cure.

I prayed, too, and God heard and answered kindly back. He gave me back the tomato!

Got the Ol' Lawnmower Blues

When I was a lad I earned money by going about talking neighbors into letting me mow their yard or wash their car. I had those as chores at home  too. To my mind I didn't get paid to mow my own backyard, although I got a quarter allowance every week. Somehow the idea of that quarter being earned income didn't compute in my pee-wee brain. I was a notorious procrastinator when it came to chores, except burning the trash in the big 55 gallon drum out back. I liked to light a fire and pretend it was a burning city.

Sometimes on those really hot days of August washing the car wasn't so bad either.

But I had little fondness for lawn mowing then or ever after. I considered it one of the great flukes of mankind or was it one of the curses placed on Adam after the fall. What a brilliant idea this, shave down the grasses and create a perpetual labor to be repeated ad nauseum during the hottest months of the year.

Nonetheless, through the decades I have managed to manicure my own grounds to the satisfaction of county codes, if not always to the particulars of some of my more green-thumb cursed neighbors.

As a boy, of course, I used a push mower, you know, no motor, all elbow grease. Very few people around had a power mower in those days, except those some where above the average blue collar families such as mine. Despite the fact that power mowers became to eventually outnumber the old muscle powered devices throughout suburbia, I continued to use such devices halfway into the 1990s.

I probably wouldn't have stopped then if my thyroid hadn't blown it circuits. When that gland decided to go rogue it sapped away my strength, even to the point I could barely walk. I certainly wasn't in shape to force a mower over our less than even grounds. I broke down and bought my first power mower. That was some time around 1995.

I think it ran pretty well for several years, but everything breaks eventually and one day I found it lying still behind the shed, four wheels motionless toward the sky. I tried CPR (crank, pull, repeat), but it was too little too late. It was gone. I went out and bought a replacement.

This time I got one of those self-propelled babies with the big bag on back. Man, it was just more ease on a task I despised, and we found we could suck up autumn leaves in that bag. If there was something I disliked more than mowing, it was leaf raking. Hey, you were dumb enough to jump off that tree, so just lay there and rot!

My wife never quite shared my attitude. She believed in a proper disposal of departed leaves, so crunching up dead leaves in a bag was a blessing.

That mower went belly up as well after a few seasons. It didn't seem to last as long as the former one

actually. The problem was in the self-propulsion. Something kind of went off track there and I couldn't get it back where it should be and the machine became a bear to push. I shoved it aside into the lawnmower graveyard (pictured right) and went out and bought another of its kin, only with more power and bigger bag.

Well, this did me well until two years ago and suddenly it got temperamental. It'd start up instantly, but after I mowed several rows it would sputter out. It would rest a bit and then stubbornly not start until about the time pulling cord had turned my arm into a rubber band. Over the course of summer these rests grew longer and the starts grew harder and finally it gave up the ghost.

I thought this sounded like a clogged fuel filter. I went to Sears and found a fuel filter that I though was for my machine. I even asked the clerk and he agreed, so I bought it. I went home and torn the thing apart and what to my surprise did I find? This model mower did not have a fuel filter.

Thus last year I went up to Home Depot and got a new mower. I stood there and stared at an old-time push
mower for a long time, but since my wife often chooses to go out and mow the front yard (before neighbors begin throwing things), I figured she would prefer an engine. Our budget is an ever shrinking commodity anymore, so I went for the cheapest power mower on display, just over a hundred buck. (I think the non-powered push mower actually cost more.)  This was your basic basic. It had wheels and it had a blade and it had a motor, but you supplied the push. There was no bag. It simply mulched up the grass and spit it out over the lot. It was a cool black.

It was wonderful. Without those self-propellant gears and no bag growing fuller by the row it proved light and fast. I mean I could blaze through all my yards and even do the east side of the house where none of my other mowers choose to go. We use to have to go hack that stuff down with weedwackers and sling blades.

But not real long into the season something odd happened. I was racing along in the back yard with the mower roaring when suddenly it started going put-put-put. It kept running and it kept cutting, but at a snails pace. I tiptoed along behind. If I sped too fast into high grass it would stall. But then after several more rows of this turtle speed it would kick up into high gear again and we would be back whizzing along lopping off their heads. And then again back to put-put-put. We nursed this thing through the summer and fall, but then it too gasped out one last put-put and died.

Wednesday I was back in Sears looking at lawn mowers. It isn't that I wanted to buy a new mower and my budget is even worse than last year, but the grass is inching up and we must do what we must do. I admit, I stood again drooling over the old powerless push mower, but because of recent health issues I have once again grown weak and need the motorized help.

I next turned my sights on a battery powered mower. Wouldn't that be nice if it could do the job? There
would be no more running to the gas station and no more of that terrible noise. I could be environmentally friendly mowing away in peace and quiet. I inquired of the clerk about this machine. She was very nice, very helpful. It seemed it would do my sized lot, but battery charge (6 hours to fully charge) would depend on length of grass (keep it under 2 inches), and how wet the grass is (keep it pretty dry). I was tempted, but still didn't want to spend the money on something that might not do the job.

I turned and pointed to the cheapest gas-guzzling, plain vanilla, bagless animal and said, "Ill take that one." After paying the $170 (oh yeah this was the absolute cheapest one and on sale no less), I went down to the pickup area to receive my purchase. I dutifully pulled my car up along the loading zone. Inside I ran my receipt over a scanner and my name popped up on a status screen above my head. Shouldn't take long, I was the only one there.

As I waited in my queue of one a stock person came out the flappy doors of the warehouse and passed by me.

What a downcast face he had. His chin was so low it was in danger of being bumped off by his shoe. He looked like the dead walking.  I got the feeling he wasn't overly thrilled with his lot in life, but he was quickly gone before I could offer him any solace. He would have probably eaten my brain if I had anyway.

A time or so later the warehouse doors flopped outward again and another glum young man came out behind a flat cart on which perched a large box. He said nothing. As he angled forward I could see "Lawn Mower" in big black letters on the side of the box. Ah, this must be mine!

He continued mutely pass me and out the door to the sidewalk, then down a ramp in the curb and around my car. Still not a word, no, "Are you Mr. Meredith?", no, "You waiting for a lawnmower?", no simple, "Hello". I walked to the rear of my car and opened the truck. He lifted the box off the hand truck and slid it in. Still not a word. I think Sears has Zombies manning their customer service pickup.  I think he might have mumbled something when I said, "Thank you," but I couldn't make it out. He never even asked to check my receipt. He never even looked my in the eyes. I could have been anyone just snatching up a free lawnmower and he wouldn't have cared.

I worked as a stock person most of the last decade. This is not how I ever dealt with customers. This is not the way any store should want to be represented by their employees. I don't get these young men. With where the unemployment rate is these days (and it is understated to boot) any one having a job should be grateful to have it. If you don't like your job, then look for something else, but don't take your frustration out on the client.

Enough preaching, I drove home to assemble my new acquisition. I soon learned what a sad state I am

in these days. I cut open the box and lifted it out. Construction was not complicated. You know, hook a cable on the handle as well as the pull cord. Pull the handles to full height by loosing and tightening some large wing nuts. Attach the mulch guard and the rear wheels. Adjust the front wheels. Put in oil.

I couldn't even finish. By the time I got to attaching the mulch guard I was too tired to stand. I packed up my tools and called it a day.  I went out this morning and finished up. I still need to get gas, but that's okay. I wasn't going to pull the cord and start mowing today in this heat anyway broke the record by 3 degrees today at 88). The grass isn't that bad yet that it can't wait for a cooler day for its execution.

So I tell the little woman I got a new mower. "Does it have a bag," she asked.

"You thinking about the leaves," I asked.

"Yes."

"That's the fall. Let's worry about the leaves when the leaves fall."

Who Is that Old Man Dogging My Steps?

You're walkin' along, hummin' a song, when outta a clear blue sky; wham! Bam! You're feelin' like some old guy.

In case you missed it in a previous post, I recently underwent an emergency endoscopy and colonoscopy, not to mention a stat, immediate blood test of my hemoglobin. My hemoglobin was down, but not critically so.

The reason for all this was the day after Easter I had black and sticky stools, road tar, as the doctor called it. I know, discussing a bowel movement is a gross subject, but we're all adult here so man or woman up. What it meant was I was bleeding somewhere in the digestive tubes. This isn't exactly the thing you say, "Whoopee, look at me," about. After an initial reaction of, "Yeuw!" your next thought is, "Am I doomed?" Then you call the doctor. Well, in my case, ever optimistic, overly proud of my super-active immune system (I mean the blasted thing has never known when to stop thus giving me psoriasis, arthritis, Grave's Disease and a bummed up [now dead] thyroid, but also pretty well zapped colds and healed wounds quick) and phobic fear of people sticking needles through my flesh, I waited a couple more days. After all, if history proved correct, it'd go away.

Stupid history, it didn't go away.

And so I made a visit to Dr. Sue (my primary physician) who arranged the emergency oscopies a week later with a Dr. Beswick.  That is my primary
doctor pictured on the left. My friend Ron did not want to believe that my doctor looked like that, but indeed she do. Dr. Beswick is on the right. He looks like he looks, too.

Anyway, the upshot of all this inner perusing of my body showed I had an ulcer in the distal bulb, and obviously it's a bleeder.

It's also a rare little varmint. Naturally, I am always in the unusual minority in these things. Most people who get psoriasis don't get it to the extent I have. Many more women than men get thyroidism and almost nobody had it flip from hypo to hyper within a year. There are only about 5% of people who get an ulcer in the distal bulb.  (Where is this kind of luck when I buy Powerball tickets?)  95% of the duodenal ulcers posit themselves up at the top near the stomach. Mine decided on the more remote area to the back of the duodenum. The duodenum is the first section of the small intestines where food is further broken down after leaving the stomach. It isn't real long. The ulcers toward the top, near the stomach, perforate; those to the bottom where it narrows just before the next section of small intestines, bleed.

My guess is I am suffering from anemia, which is why I tend to tire easily and why my walks have

gone from four to five miles to a pathetic two. Apparently my anemic condition isn't dire enough to be too threatening or I'd be in the hospital, as Dr. Sue had warned she would do if my hemoglobin was too low. I am not experiencing any shortness of breath or confusion, beyond my normal confused state. I just get weary much sooner when I do anything.

Exactly what we do about the creepy old man dogging my footsteps I don't know yet. I meet with the doctor, the guy on the right, not the pretty one on the left, on May 1 and find out what we are going to do. I guess he'll have the biopsies' results then and we'll see if I got bacteria in there. If I do then antiboptics are a-comin' my way, do-dah, do-dah!

They use to think ulcers were caused by what you ate or by stress. Now they know there is a sneaky little creature named Helicobacter pylori (alias H. pylori) that's the culprit. I hate to tell you this, but he and his ilk are floating around in your guts too. It's a bacteria natural to those environs of our body. I don't think they know why old H. (can I call him H. for short) goes all postal on some of us.

Of course, the little beast has put police tape around a lot of foods I can eat. If they don't cause the ulcer, they do agitate it once it's there, so no mo' of certain foods for me for a while.

(Translation: if you like it, you probably can't eat it.)

On left, hoagies and chips, native foodstuff - can't eat!

Is that downright criminal, or what?


No hot dogs, no pizza, no cheesesteaks, no chili, no spice, no mustard, no ketchup, no tomatoes, no oranges, lemons or limes or grapefruits or pineapple or juices thereof, no carbonated beverages, no coffee, no tea -hot or iced - no chocolate milk, no chocolate period, no peppermint, no alcohol of course, no French fries - no fried anything, no black pepper and certainly no red pepper, no onions, sauerkraut, bell peppers, cauliflower or broccoli, no pickled vegetables, garlic, ginger or nutmeg. There is one bright spot - no Brussels sprouts!

I can have seafood, but I don't like seafood.

I can have cabbage juice; really, CABBAGE JUICE!  Yum!

Whoever that old man is dogging my steps, he has terrible tastes in food.



Man, don't that cabbage juice look good? (right)













Helicobacter pylori (H. pylori)  duodental

"Bible Series" on History: Part 5 Have I Been Too Hard on It?

I have throughout my running commentary on this series been somewhat brutal about its accuracy. Perhaps I should be more forgiving. I understand the difficulties of the undertaking to a certain extent. But you also have to realize the subject is very dear to my heart and they didn't have to do some of the things they did.

Film is a powerful medium. People look at a movie based on a true story and they accept what they see as truth when often it isn't. When Pontius Pilate asked, "What is truth?", he asked a very profound question. What is truth in this world? When you turn on the TV and hear talking heads arguing any subject, can you really discern the truth? Truth is a rarity, so when you believe someone is truthful and then you catch them in a lie, even a little lie, it is very hard to ever believe them again.

We can even look at the film to see how hard trust is to regain by their presentation of Paul. When he first appears he stirs the crowd up against Steven, even picking up the first stone. (Scripture simply says that when Steven was stoned there was a young man in the crowd who had their cloaks at his feet and his name was Saul of Tarsus. In this episode he is always referred to as Paul and never Saul.) Saul then goes on a rampage of brutalizing Christians. (Let's overlook the meeting with Caiaphus and being assigned Malkis to help him.) The point is, after his conversion, Paul has a hard time persuading the Christians to trust him. Once trust is lost it is hard to regain.

I didn't really care for this portrayal of Saul/Paul as something of a sociopathic maniac in the beginning by the way, but who knows...maybe he was.

Anyway, I believe the Scriptures and I believe in the death and resurrection of Jesus. I also had History Channel as a favorite for several years. I enjoyed their various historic enactments. But if they are to take historic events and change happenings and characters and take literary license for the sake of dramatic effect, how can I trust anything they say?

I never expected "The Bible Series" to be perfect, but I never expected so much to either be added or deleted for the sake of entertainment. My real hope, especially as it proved popular, is for people unfamiliar with the Bible to go to Scriptures with real interest and this would open them up to discuss the meanings of The Word. But what happens if they turn to the Scriptures and find a number of things quiet different from the TV series?  Will they trust either?

But you know, the Word of God and The Gospel have survived thousands of years and all kinds of attacks. God's Word has a way of being heard and getting under the skin, even if the ones presenting it do so out of wrong intent. Certainly the Passion scenes were gripping. These made we winch several times.

Of course, they stuck with traditional images, rather than perhaps historic fact. Most likely Jesus would have carried the patibulum or crossbar of the cross upon his back, as the thieves did. The patibulum generally weighted about 100 pounds. You can imagine then what the longer piece, the stiles weighted. Christ would have struggled with the crosspiece alone in his beaten state, especially after a scourging. He would have loss a lot of blood and been dehydrated. Remember he hadn't eaten and had little or nothing to drink over this period of time as well.

The other tradition used was portraying Simon of Cyrene as a Black Man. This belief came about because Cyrene is in Libya. However, there existed at the time a large colony of Israelites living in Libya, around 100,000. It is more likely Simon was one of these Jewish colonists come to Jerusalem for the Passover. But these are small points and it is possible Simon was black.

I was cringing more at how they presented Mary Magdalene as one of the Apostles, speaking in tongues at Pentecost, urging the Disciples to show faith and going out to spread the message (Mary apparently taking the Gospel to Antioch, right).

I was also a bit mystified at the scene where John hung from a chain and these Roman Guards poured a bowl of something into his mouth. The narrator had been telling us how each of the Apostles died and said, "John was poisoned in Rome.

A little later we are told the "Roman's failed to kill John, however" and he was banished to Patmos.We see John's eyes open as he lays on the prison floor and then he spits up.

I went searching for this tale and could find nothing about the Roman's poisoning John. The only "legend" I found was that the Roman's had thrown John into a pot of boiling oil to kill him, but he didn't die.

Anyway, enough of my carping because much of what was shown was close to Scripture. I think the Word of God gets heard where people have become seekers, even if in the mouth of demons. That seemed to be somewhat the attitude of Paul and that's good enough for me.

^{Philippians 1:15} It is true that some preach Christ out of envy and rivalry, but others out of goodwill. ¹⁶ The latter do so out of love, knowing that I am put here for the defense of the gospel. ¹⁷ The former preach Christ out of selfish ambition, not sincerely, supposing that they can stir up trouble for me while I am in chains. ¹⁸ But what does it matter? The important thing is that in every way, whether from false motives or true, Christ is preached. And because of this I rejoice.

And so I rejoice too.

And in Luke 9:49-50 we find:

 “Master,” said John, “we saw someone driving out demons in your name and we tried to stop him, because he is not one of us.”

“Do not stop him,” Jesus said, “for whoever is not against you is for you.”

In the end, The Bible Series is for us, because it opens the doors and makes it easier to talk of these things.

1. 
   

How to Get ready for Your Colonoscopy or A Night at the Races

As we meander, and drink and eat, our way through earthly life and earthly delights, we get to experience new adventures. Some of these may be the direct result of too much of those earthly delights. One such adventure is a kind of light at the end of the tunnel called a colonoscopy. It is something you keep hearing you should get when you reach a certain age.  I am actually past that recommended certain age and had never had this procedure. I am not big on doctors and hospitals and needles in the arm.

However on Palm Sunday after coming home from church I felt extremely tired and fell asleep for a couple hours on the sofa. When I woke up, I found I couldn't walk across our living room without feeling woozy and having to sit down.

I thought I was getting the flu back, specifically the stomach flu. I had been going through a wretched couple weeks as far as my body was concerned. Two weeks earlier arthritis visited my left wrist and

hand. I had never had an attack there before and this was one  like the invasion on D-day; Mr Arthur Itis brought his heavy forces to bear. The pain was intense and basically rendered my left hand useless. (Oddly coincidental that one year ago my mother had a stroke that took away her use of the left hand.)

The pain was so bad I began doing something I rarely do. I began popping pills, first Tylenol and then aspirin. Oh, I was swallowing two aspirin tablet every eight hours every day. Then in the middle of the following week I had an ache across my midsection and I felt tired and cold. I could not get warm at all. That was when I decided on The Flu. It seemed mild, though, until Palm Sunday afternoon. And then Monday morning came.

I awoke early as usual, but the need to get to the bathroom was not as usual. Yes, waking up and having to immediately empty the bladder is pretty common, but this was the sit down variety of things and that was not normal. It was urgent, and it was messy and it was a lot. Well, you expect that with the flu and I figured maybe this is the start of getting it out of my system, until I reached to flush and saw it was black.

When it is black, and sticky like road tar, it means one thing. I was bleeding internally somewhere.

Of course, first thing I did once cleaned up and dressed was Google the matter. What could cause this phenomena?  One of the possibilities was the stomach flu or more specifically gastroenteritis of the bacterial form, something more common in us older folk and has the symptoms I had. I decided to let some time go by and see if it all went away, as my sickness generally do, but not this time. I was weak and woozy and tired and cold as anything on Monday. I was able to walk a bit further on Tuesday, all the way across a room. Wednesday I was about the same, but things were still coming out black, so I called my doctor and got an appointment for the Thursday before Easter. (Yes, that's my doctor on the left. Yes, I have a female doctor. Now some may be wondering why I resist going to the doctor when she looks like that? I sometime wonder the same thing.)

Doctor Sue (first name), looked me over and expected I might have an ulcer. I drink a lot of coffee, drink some alcohol, was popping aspirin and pretty much eat whatever I want, plus this has been a stressful year. My blood pressure was up, my weight was down and she thought I was down a pint in blood. She wrote me an order for a hemoglobin test. She said go directly to the lab, do not pass go, do not collect $200. She put STAT at the top of the order. She said the results would reach her by 3:00 PM and if my hemoglobin was too low she would put me right in the hospital.

I didn't want to go into the hospital -- ever, but especially then. I wanted to be at Iron Faith Fellowship's Sunrise Service atop a hill at 6:00 AM Easter.  I did go to the lab, she did get her results, and although my hemoglobin was down some it wasn't terribly low, so I avoided hospital.

Dr. Sue arranged an emergency colonoscopy for me, which I could not avoid and that brings me to this week and this subject.  The video is of my day before the procedure as I went through the dreaded preparation. Oh, what tales of woe and terror I have heard about this preparation, especially during that week when I told the world it was coming. People chuckled knowingly, patted me on the back, consoled me and some wanted to see my reaction when I began to drink the required magic potion and so the resulting video. I promised my friend, Ron, I would record that moment.

I had seen his video doing it, his grimace, his attempted to sip it down, his frustration, his grasping his stomach in disgust and his gagging (photos of Ron's agony surround these lines)  and I knew he wanted to see my suffering in return.

If you watch my video, I suggest scrolling down to the bottom of my Blog and turning off the music. It will be better viewing if you click the little square of corners on the lower right of the video frame and make it full screen view. (Don't worry there are no gross images in this film, unless some think my face be gross enough.)

I certainly didn't look forward to last Wednesday with glee. I didn't really worry about it either. I just went about as normal and you know what? It came without me worrying anyway. I had to drink a half gallon of a special brew, doing one 8 ounce glass every half hour. I was amazed how quickly each half hour went by, but you know what they say, "Time flies when you're having fun."

After the elixir I was also amazed at how fast and often the results came as well and how they lasted

long into the night. I managed to fall asleep at some point only to be awoken at 3:50 for some more emptying. And before I knew it my sleepy wife and I were on our way to the Endoscopy Center of Delaware.  I am glad I insist on always leaving early for unfamiliar destinations. For a while it appeared I made a mistake and we would arrive a half-hour early. Traffic had zipped down I-95 despite construction. We were off the proper ramp and then realized we couldn't quite understand the Google Map claims of where streets were supposed to be. After a few missed turns we did manage to locate the center.

My wife is not an early riser. I would normally allowed her to sleep (my appointment was for 8:15 AM), but the center insisted I needed a driver to collect my carcass afterward, so she had to get up and come along, but not without reason. I was in no condition to drive home with the euphoric high I experienced from the anesthesia. I was as mellowed out as a projectionist at a Cheech & Chong film festival.

The people at the center from receptionist to physician couldn't have been nicer. The nurse got my IV in with almost no pain. She got me a blanket because I was cold. There was a reason for my shivers.

 "Take everything off, except your socks," she said, "and put on that gown."

 You know, that gown, the one with the air conditioned back.  (How do you tie those things anyway?)

"I can tie the neck for you," said the nurse, "but I'd just leave the waist untied."

I was hooked up and soon wheeled to another room. The doctor was there and a nurse and a technician and...people just kept joining the let's see what's up Larry party. The doctor suggested we get an Endoscopy as well as the Colonoscopy. We all signed some papers and I was prepped for attack from all sides. One of these strangers, who now had more familiarity with my nether regions than most, stuck this plastic bite do-dad between my teeth and told me to roll over on my side. The anesthesiologist put something through the IV and_________


_______And I woke up back in the dressing cubicle with my wife. I dressed as she went for the car. I was escorted out and we rode home with me repeating things over and over again just as giddy as can be.

These were the results of this Star Trek episode, people going where no person has gone before.

Angioectasia in the cecum
Medium hiatal hernia
Normal mucosa in the esophagus
Granularity and friability in the antrum compatible with gastritis (biopsy taken)
Ulcer in the distal bulb (biopsy taken)

Yeah, I looked all those things up on line, now it's your turn.

Upshot is, yeah, I got an ulcer.

The recommendations are:

Regular diet
Resume current medications
Follow-up with the Doctor in three weeks
If bacteria are present on the biopsies, may recommend treatment with antibiotics.

It other words, if I do have gastritis I'll get medication.  I will find out more on May 1 at my follow-up.

But now you have seen how really simple this all is, don't fear having one if over that certain age.

Only trouble with Having Old Friends is that Old Part

I saw this ad come across the TV the other night. The sponsor was making a point of their longevity in the practice of their services. They put up a big old icon on the screen. It said, "Founded 1970". "Founded 1970," which is 43 years ago. I guess that's a long time now. This is a problem in my life these days, time slips away so quick every decade seems closer than it is.

If "Founded 1970" is a proof of longevity, what is a friendship founded in 1950? That's a total of 63 years if I still remember how to count. So is it longevity or antiquity?

And it isn't just a friendship, it's two. There are actually a couple others. I've been friends with a lady named Iva forever, I mean we go back to the state of consciousness, let's say 70 years.

But she's a girl. I'm talking about male bonding here, three guys who met in third grade and got kind of joined at the hip. There we are on the left back in 1957, when we all had a lot of thick, dark hair. Ain't we a handsome bunch?

We were so alike in many ways. That's what cements you to other people over so many decades. We were very alike and yet very different in other ways.  I was pretty geeky, I guess, this hick from a swamp, shy and ignorant of so much that the other kids knew. Maybe we were all geeky in a way. We got a lot of guff from others in that small town.

Life moved us apart physically, and for some periods in mind and spirit as well. Oddly many events in our lives paralleled even when we didn't know it.  We seemed to move into the same areas or work for banks here and there. And in the end we all drifted back together, even if mostly over the Internet. There we are on the right when we had a little reunion in 2011. We were percolating rather well at the time.

Stuart is down in Florida, but we managed to write several plays together on the Web. Ronald is living
in the slower-lower southern part of this state of Delaware, while I live up at the top. To me we still are much alike. Our differences might seem big to some people. I'm a vocal Christian and 52 years married to the same woman. Stuart's Jewish and he's married, too. Ronald is pretty much non-religious in a definable way. He has his spiritual moments. He isn't married because he can't be. He's Gay. He has a partner of 48 years. I'm pretty Conservative; Ronald's pretty Liberal. I'm not sure about Stuart, maybe he falls somewhere between us.

But never mind the differences. We like each other as people and friends. You don't always have to agree to like someone. You have to look at a person's heart, not the labels they or others have hung about their necks. I've actually known some people in life who seem to agree on everything, but can't stand each other...so life's a mystery sometimes.

These are old friends, my oldest friends, and that OLD is getting old. Age is catching up to our bodies, if not our minds. Ron got news the past year that he has prostate cancer. Bummer, he is going for a nuclear seeding in May.

We just heard from Stuart that his knees are gone, bone on bone. He's into leg braces and pain and

most likely knee replacements down the road he limps along.

I thought I was the sturdy one, boppin' along without a care. Well, I knew that wasn't completely true. I mean I had a terrible time 15 years ago and lost my thyroid. Then I developed gout and Psoriatic Arthritis in more recent times. Boy, is that a pain!

But last week was the kicker right in the...well fill in the blank. I had a bit of pain about my waist and felt very tired. I figured that Ms Flu had returned. It would pass, I figured because it always did. But last Sunday after church I was really weary and woozy and didn't have the energy to walk across the living room.

Monday morning when I awoke I had to dash to the bathroom and I think it was trying for the Guinness World Record. I've occasionally had someone tell me I was full of it. Monday morning seemed to be an attempt to prove them right. I certainly wasn't full of much of anything after that.

But I figured maybe this gets the poison out and Ms Flu will fly 'way, except I was seeing something black that said it may not be Ms Flu. It's more like Captain Blood.

Well, for once I called my Doctor and saw her last Thursday. She is of the opinion I got me a bleeding ulcer. She sent me off to the Lab for blood work. The paper said STAT at the top. She said she'd have the results by 3:00 and if my hemoglobin was too low she was going to put me right into the hospital. Then she got me an emergency colonoscopy appointment for next Thursday. Oh, joy, oh joy!

But my Lab results showed my hemoglobin was down, but not dangerously low so I escaped hospitalization. I am also going to escape all the foods I don't want to escape. No spicy food, no tomatoes, no fries, no alcohol, no coffee, no tea, no soda and no chocolate. I can have tofu. Uuh!

Anyway, I went out this afternoon and bought almost all my treats for the party next Wednesday evening. I got a packet of Dulcolax Tablets, an 8.3 oz bottle of Miralax and a 10 oz. bottle of magnesium citrate, yum! I didn't get the Crystal Light to mix in the 64 ounce bottle of water with the Miralax yet.  I will have to drink eight ounces of this cocktail until the whole jugs gone, the instructions say.

It's a good thing I don't live in New York. I wouldn't be able to prep for the procedure. Mayor Bloomberg doesn't allow these super-sized drinks.

"Bible Series" on History: Part 4 Jesus and the 12...uh..(13?) at the Border of Heresy

I understand the difficulties of undertaking to film "The Bible". No matter how large the filmmaker's ego, the Bible is larger. Even just the first few books of the New Testament are overwhelming in depth and scope. How do you encapsulate the life of Christ into a few hours, made even shorter by an enormous number of commercials taking up precious minutes?

Well, let's just forget historic fact, Scriptural truth and meaning. Let's try to squeeze in as many popularly known characters and miracles and utterances of Jesus as possible, never mind accuracy of timeline.

One interesting development in Part 4 borders on heresy. This was in increasing Jesus' Apostles from 12 to 13, the thirteenth being Mary Magdalene. Mary Magdalene is also portrayed as being one of the leaders of the group, just below Christ and equal with Peter.

Lets just walk through the March 24 showing of The Bible and take notice of her constance presence.

This presentation was called, "Mission". It opens with a long shot of Jesus and his Disciples

walking across the landscape. The Narrator intones, "With a growing number of Disciples, Jesus walks about performing miracles."

It is difficult to count the number in these shots or distinguish individuals, but the small figure in maroon next to Jesus is Mary Magdalene.

Here is a closer shot of the troop walking along on their mission "to change the

world".

I tried counting heads and came up with 13. A few are hard to see behind the others, but 13 would be the correct number, except the figure second from the right is Mary Magdalene. There were four members of this group (besides Jesus) that are actually identified by name in the series so far: Peter (who I have not heard yet referred to as Simon), Matthew the Tax Collector, Judas the Traitor and Mary Magdalene. I think there was one scene when somebody yelled, "Thomas, don't doubt", but aren't certain.

Soon this group is gathered in the courtyard of a house and Jesus is speaking. We get a glimpse of

people carrying something in the background. The people gathered about Jesus begin glancing up
toward the roof and suddenly a man drops through. Another person is lowered and caught by the first, this second one paralyzed. Jesus forgives the paralyzed man his sins and a Pharisee, one who is with Jesus almost as much as his Disciples thorough out this episode, calls it blasphemy. Jesus then tells the man to stand and pulls him forcefully to his feet. The man stands as Jesus lets go, then takes first a few hesitant steps before shouting, "I can walk!". This represents an event that occurred in Capernaum during the first year of Jesus' ministry. In Luke 5 of Scripture Jesus is in the house and there are some Pharisees there.These men are thinking "this is blasphemy, but do not speak it outloud. Jesus senses their thoughts. This is the passage:

^{Luke 5:20} When Jesus saw their faith, he said, “Friend, your sins are forgiven.”

²¹ The Pharisees and the teachers of the law began thinking to themselves, “Who is this fellow who speaks blasphemy? Who can forgive sins but God alone?”

²² Jesus knew what they were thinking and asked,“Why are you thinking these things in your hearts?²³ Which is easier: to say, ‘Your sins are forgiven,’ or to say, ‘Get up and walk’? ²⁴ But I want you to know that the Son of Man has authority on earth to forgive sins.”So he said to the paralyzed man, “I tell you, get up, take your mat and go home.” 

And look what happened with that paralyzed man:

²⁵ Immediately he stood up in front of them, took what he had been lying on and went home praising God. ²⁶ Everyone was amazed and gave praise to God. They were filled with awe and said, “We have seen remarkable things today.”

Jesus did not pull the man to his feet, struggling to lift him as it appears in the film. The man got up immediately, picked up his mat and went out.

As they leave the house, a leper makes his way through the crowded street to Jesus. Jesus cures the leper. (The leper bore a striking resemblance to the paralyzed man.)

Now, in Scripture Jesus cures a leper PROIR to the paralyzed man dropping through the roof of a crowded house. In fact, it is the curing of this leper that really begins drawing the people and results in a house too crowded for the friends to bring the paralyzed man in through the door.  But Jesus cured a lot of lepers, so this may have been just an incidental curing.

Actually, after leaving the crowded house with the paralyzed man he didn't run into a leper. He left the house and saw Matthew the Tax Collector in his booth and called him to follow.  [Go read Luke 5,  Matthew 9 and Mark 2.)

Back to the movie -- Not long after curing the paralyzed man and leper in Galilee, Jesus is approached by a group of men shouting "whore" and shoving a woman along until she falls on her knees and

prepares herself to be stoned. This is the familiar story of the adulterous woman, but that didn't occur until much later than the other two cures and happened at the Temple Courts in Jerusalem [Read John 7]. If I remember correctly Jesus bend down to write something on the ground with his finger, then stood and said, "If any one of you is without sin, let him be first to throw a stone at her."

No bending to write here. Jesus picks up a stone and approaches the woman as if to strike. She covers her head with her hands to ward off his toss, but Jesus turns and says, "I will give this stone to the first man that tells me he never sinned."  The last man to drop his own stone is that pesky Pharisee who pops up everywhere. Okay, sure, small quibble, I suppose, but why the change? What was wrong with the original?

We now jump to the Sermon on the Mount, which was a mount back in Galilee and occurred well before the Adulterous Woman stoning. We don't have the whole sermon. (Is this The Bible or an episode of Dr. Who? The time travel is amazing.) We get a few of the "Blessed are" quotes, and a drib and drab from the rest of it.  Near the end Mary Magdalene sitting on a nearby rock, looks up and asks, "How should we pray?" (Pictured left)

Jesus smiles sweetly and says, "like this," and they all bow their heads, close their eyes and tent their hands before their faces as he begins, "Our Father..."

We now watch Jesus and the Disciples traipsing along their way as Jesus continues speaking the prayer, except for the "Power and Glory" part. [Mark Burnett and Roma Downey are Roman Catholic.)

We jump to the dark inner halls of the Temple. Nicodemus comes hurriedly up to Caiaphas and others of the Sanhedrin.

 Nicodemus tells Caiaphas that Jesus of Galilee is coming to Jerusalem. (Nicodemus is the tall dude in the dark cap, Caiaphas is in the white cap.) That same pesky Pharisee that has appeared everywhere Jesus went is also here, so he really gets around, perhaps he is Dr. Who.  Caiaphas tells Nicodemus to relax, "Nothing good ever came from Galilee."

Gee, that phrase sounded familiar. Oh wait, yeah, way back after Jesus left the wilderness encounter with Satan. That was when he first met Andrew, Simon Peter and John, way before The Bible Series has Jesus bump into Peter there on his boat trying to catch fish. It was on their trip back to Galilee where Philip was found and went and told Nathanael and Nathanael said, "Can anything good come out of Nazareth?" Then they all went to that wedding in Cana where Jesus changed water to wine. You didn't see any of that or how Jesus really met his first Disciples. The Bible Series didn't think that important enough to include. [Read John 1 & 2.]

Anyway The Bible Series put a paraphrase in the mouth of Caiaphas as all of Galilee, not just Nazareth, but that's okay I guess. Then Caiaphas and the men all walk away laughing at Nicodemus.

As the Council members walk down the hall chuckling, Jesus, Mary Magdalene and his Disciples crest a hill. They all look with expressions of surprise and amazement, including Jesus, at people spread shoulder to shoulder down the other side. Jesus asks for the few fish and bread the Disciples have, holds the basket up in the air and brings it down full of food. Now a Disciple does the same with an empty basket (I think Peter, but the Disciples aren't well defined in this film) and brings it down full of bread and fish. The Disciple says, "He said ask," as he raises the basket and "it shall be given" as he lowers it and then laughs with glee (pictured left). Mary Magdalene and the others begin lifting baskets and passing the results to the crowd.

We now return to the Temple Halls where Nicodemus hurries to tell Caiaphas that 5,000 people showed up to see Jesus.

Jesus goes to Nazareth and a lady tells Mary he is back. Jesus goes into the Synagogue and reads

from Isaiah the prophesy, "The spirit of the Lord is on me, because he has anointed me to preach good news to the poor...etc." (Isaiah 61:1-2) After reading it Jesus says, "Today this has been fulfilled."

Well, guess who is there and hears him say this? That same pesky Pharisee, who immediately follows Jesus out side yelling about blasphemy. Now in the real Bible, this happens very early on in Jesus career. He goes to his home town, Nazareth, reads Isaiah 61 and says the prophesy is fulfilled that day, but it is not a Pharisee who gets upset. The Pharisees don't care about Jesus enough yet, he is still a rather unknown. It is the people of his town, Nazareth, that get angry and try to throw him off a cliff. He didn't tell his mother or anyone else, "It has begun" (pictured left). Instead Jesus moved to Capernaum and made that his home base to begin his ministry, subsequently having that big fishing day with Peter.

Time really gets distorted in this movie, because the next scene takes us to a street in Bethany, a few miles from Jerusalem. Jesus and Mary Magdalene are met on the street by Martha, who says Jesus is too late, her brother is dead. Jesus asks to be taken to the tomb, which is opened and he goes in. He kneels behind the corpse and after a moment Lazarus' eyes pop open, (Jesus looks a bit surprised.) Lazarus gets up and they exit the tomb.

Outside an anxious Martha waits comforted by Mary Magdalene. A little behind is another woman. We aren't really introduced to this lady, but I am guessing it might be Martha's sister Mary. This whole Martha and Mary of Bethany relationship is a very important story in the Bible. It touches on more than just the mere raising of a dead man (Lazarus). It is a great lesson for the Disciples. It also teaches about faith verses works. It teaches many things, not the least the coming death and resurrection of Christ.  Mary of Bethany is an important figure, but she doesn't even get a mention here.  Click here to read a study of Mary and Martha, "One Needful Thing"  And why is Mary Magdalene so front and center all the time?  In the photo that is Martha in the blue headpiece being held by Mary Magdalene.

Once more back to the Halls of the Temple where Nicodemus hurriedly tells Caiaphas that it is rumored Jesus raised a man from the dead. Nicodemus then says Jesus is coming to Jerusalem. Caiaphas says

they can't have this fraud showing up at Passover.

The Narrator tells us that Passover is the biggest event of the year. We have some scenes in here somewhere that include Pilate, who is threatening to close the Temple and cancel Passover if there is any trouble.

We now see Jesus riding a donkey among a swarm of people waving palms. He waves at the cheering

crowd with Mary Magdalene right there by his side. See her smiling just off his right arm. She and he and the Disciples enter Jerusalem .

.

We are shown an arial shot of Herod's Temple and are told by the narrator that the temple "is the holiest place in the Bible."

Jesus then proceeds into the Temple. He looks about. We see people exchanging money, buying lambs and birds and squabbling. Jesus begins turning over the moneychangers' tables as Mary Magdalene looks about. (Pictured left)

Nicodemus now shows up to confront Jesus on what authority he has to do this. Jesus stands nose to nose with Nicodemus and tells him, "You say your lofty prayers and laud your piety in the Temple, hypocrite, you can't serve both God and money."

Jesus then turns to the crowd and tells them it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter heaven.

Nicodemus holds up a coin and demands Jesus say whether it is right to pay taxes to Caesar. (Note Mary Magdalene looking on a bit apprehensive between Nicodemus and Jesus.)  Jesus, of course, asks whose face is on the coin. Nicodemus flips the coin to him remarking, "Caesar." Jesus says, "Then give Caesar what is Caesar's and God what is God's," and flips the coin to a nearby Roman centurion.

During all this we see Barabas talking to people (bald fellow in the scene pictured left) and beginning to rouse up the crowd. Barabas confronts Jesus calling for a revolt against Rome. At this point Barabas is moving closer to Jesus with people shouting all about him, railing at Jesus and Christ raises a hand and Barabas is apparently struck dumb and backs up.

A completely fabricated scene.

Jesus and Mary Magdalene and his disciples begin moving out of the Temple. Jesus stops by a little girl and asks her if she sees the beautiful building. Kneeling down, and smiling, he tells her not one of these stones will be left standing.

Ut oh!

We are quickly back in those dark corridors of the Temple, but not before Nicodemus is upbraided for letting Jesus make a fool of him.

Now Nicodemus and Caiaphas stand speaking to Malkis, the leader of the Temple Guards. (pictured left) "He said what?" asks Caiaphas. "That he would tear down the Temple in three days," Malkis reports. Caiaphas tells Malkis to get this Judas fellow he had told about and bring him there.


Jesus washes his hands, has a vision of being nailed to the cross and picks up some bread. He tells the disciples around the table this will be their last meal together. He breaks the bread and shares the wine, then says someone will betray him and sends Judas on his way with a pat on the cheek.

Jesus and MARY MAGDALENE and his disciples exit the building.

Back in the Garden of Gethsemane Mary Magdalene and the Disciples are sitting or standing about when who shows up, but Nicodemus.  Nicodemus and Jesus go over to the side and we have the Born Again speech that should have happened back in John 3. You know, the night meeting between these two after the first cleansing of the Temple, before John the Baptist was arrested, before Jesus had all his Disciples, before Jesus spoke with the woman at the well, before just about everything in this episode happened. Well, at least they put it in somewhere.

Back at the Temple Judas accepts his money for promising to show where Jesus is going to be.

In the Garden of Gethsemane Jesus tells Mary Magdalene he is going to pray. She watches him walk off to a private place, where he asks God if this must be done. When Jesus finishes his prayer, Malkis and Judas, Guards and Disciples and Mary Magdalene come through the bushes (pictured right). Judas kisses Jesus, Peter cuts off Malkis ear, Jesus restores the ear and is arrested. Everyone else flees with Mary Magdalene sort of directing traffic.

We end this episode with Jesus surrounded by the Council in the Temple. Caiaphas asks if he is the Son of God. Jesus replies, "I am and you will see me coming with the clouds and sitting on the right hand of God." Everyone steps back from Jesus. Caiaphas rips his clothes and declares Jesus guilty of blasphemy. "The penalty," he says, "is death," to be continued next week.

In film it is often a practice to combine or invent characters to represent several characters rather than hire more actors and run up expenses. Thus The Constant Pharisee is understandable. Pharisees, Scribes and Saduccees were constantly popping in on Jesus to question, harass and challenge him. It is a cost saving to have one representative of these many, thus The Constant Pharisee (pictured left).

This is sort of the same thing done with Nicodemus. Nicodemus is always entering the scene to report on Jesus' activities. However, Nicodemus is only referenced in Scripture three times. The first time is in John 3, which is early on in Jesus' ministry. Nicodemus comes to Jesus in Secret at night and Jesus talks about how a person is born again.

Nicodemus is spoke of again in John 19, after Jesus has been crucified.  In verse 19 we are told Nicodemus, brought myrrh and aloes to help Joseph of Arimathea prepare the body for burial. In this

passage it describes Nicodemus as "who earlier had come to Jesus by night." This refers to Nicodemus' visit in John 3. We can know this because John uses a similar introduction of Nicodemus in the only other mention.

The other reference to Nicodemus occurs in John 7:50, where it says "who had gone to [Jesus] before."“Does our law judge a man without first giving him a hearing and learning what he does?” The Bible Series does contain Nicodemus saying this, but in a different context. The Chief Priests reply to him, “Are you from Galilee too? Search and see that no prophet arises from Galilee.”
This reference comes about the middle of the ministry and Jesus was spending a good deal of time preaching during the Festival of Booths. The Chief Priests and Pharisees have been attempting to have Jesus arrested with little success. Nicodemus is present when the officers report their latest failure to arrest Jesus and he says,

I suppose this is sort of when Caiaphas says in the film, "Nothing good ever came from Galilee."

And then along came Mary, Mary Magdalene that is, seen in the left photo comforting a child as Jesus speaks with the adulterous woman just saved from a stoning.

Mary Magdalene appears in only eight chapters among the four Gospels, all except one taking place during the death and resurrection of Christ. She is pictured watching the crucifixion from a distance with many other women, "among whom were Mary Magdalene and Mary the mother of James and Joseph and the mother (Salome) of the sons of Zebedee (James & John)."

She is also noted as standing below the cross with John, Jesus' mother and Mary the wife of Clopas.

Later Mary Magdalene, Mary the mother of James and Salome go and buy spices to anoint Jesus' body.

On Sunday morning these women go to the tomb. Mary Magdalene gets there ahead of the other two women. Jesus appears to her and she hurries to tell John and Peter. The other two women are met by an Angel, see the empty tomb and run back in fear. They are also met by Jesus and told to go tell the Disciples.

The only other place Mary Magdalene is mentioned outside of the Passion Week at the cross and tomb
is in Luke 8. We are told Jesus and the twelve Disciples go traveling from village to village preaching the Good news. Also with them are several woman that Jesus had healed. These women now follow Jesus helping to provide for him and the Disciples from their means. Only three are listed by name: Joanna the wife of Chuza, Herod's household manager, Susanna and Mary Magdalene from whom seven demons had been driven out.  So there were many women traveling with Jesus, just as there were several witnessing his death and some going to the tomb.

This is about the extent we know about Mary Magdalene from Scripture. The only other information about Mary comes from Apocryphal manuscripts that were rejected as part of the canon. It is from these non-Scriptural writings that any picture of Mary Magdalene being the closest person to Jesus and a leader among the Disciples can come. These are the sources that led to such heretical books and films as The DaVinci Code and Last Temptation of Christ. These writings also the source for the cults who claim Jesus and Mary Magdalene were lovers and had children.