June and Weddings and Us One September

Seems like a lot of people around me are getting married lately. Of course it was June, and June was always called the Month of Marriage. But it's slid over into July now, too, and even my long time friend since third grade got married.

I didn't get married in June or in July. I got married in September and it was the one nearly 52 years ago.

And we are still married.

But that's all right, because I took those vows seriously and they are serious vows. No one should go into marriage without considering what they are promising. Rub those stars of love out of your eyes for a minute and consider that you're promising to go beyond those giddy days of romance and beyond how pretty she looks and handsome he is. You are not just saying you'll be there for the fun and games, you're promising you are going to take care of each other when the merry-go-round stops spinning.

You are saying it doesn't matter if you are down to your last buck and living under the interstate overpass or body parts are falling off right and left you are going to be there by each other's side. You are promising all you have and all you are to each other and not until just next year, but until death do you part.

If you don't mean it, don't do it. If you do it, then mean it.

We got married in a Methodist Church and in the Christian Church marriage is a sacred thing, not just between you and your spouse, but in a covenant with God.

Even if you don't believe in God and even if you get married in a secular service with a judge rather than a minister, you still should honor those vows. What worth are you if you don't hold to your promises and words? It may not always be easy, but that's why you should give real serious thought to what you are about to do when you slip that ring on another's finger. If you don't like those tough vows or think they are too hard to keep, then write your own, like a lot of people do anymore, and make it easy on yourself. It's a lot better to be honestly chicken than to make a vow you end up breaking.

Life has ups and downs and temptations. If there is infidelity, then there may be divorce, but even there the first thoughts should turn to forgiveness and reconciliation. Everyone is inclined to making mistakes in this world, one or two failures don't make it a way of life.

I never cheated on my wife (but then look at her and ask why would I). That's not to say there weren't temptations or opportunities, but there are
always consequences to such actions. I didn't turn away from those opportunities because I feared the consequences. I turned aside because I have a conscience that told me right from wrong.

I figure after 52 years there's a good chance this marriage just might take. We have our infirmities now, and with these come difficulties from time to time, but it is in those times when care is needed and sacrifice is demanded that you fully realize how deep is your love for the other.

At any rate, back in those prehistoric times when we married there were not digital cameras or videos to immortalize such events. Cameras were little boxes you put film in and got 12 to 35 prints in return. There were home movie cameras that produced ten minutes of silent 8mm films and there were bulky reel to reel tape recorders that did only sound. In our case some service provided a recording of our wedding on a 331/3 RPM Vinyl platter. This became obsolete a decade or so ago as record players began to disappear into museums. Our recording just sat unheard for several years.

Recently I bought a turntable that converts vinyl records in digital files on iTunes and one of the first I converted was that recording of our marriage. I have now combined that scratchy old phonograph record with the photographs taken of our big day into a film. So here below is our marriage lo so many years ago.












A couple things of note.

My wife's mother died three years before our wedding, so her grandmother stood in. She is the small lady you see my biggest usher escort up the aisle in one photo.

My wife seems to tower over my father while dancing, probably due to the heels she wore. My father was 5 foot 11 inches tall. My wife is tall, especially so for the generation she was born, but in the picture she looks like 6 foot 3 or something.

On the record you can hear some whispering at one point. This is when the Maid-of-Honor dropped the ring and we, The Pastor, my wife and I, were crawling about looking for it. Here is a lesson to not sweat mistakes. After the service a lady shaking my hand in the reception line made this references to when we were on all fours. "I never saw that in a wedding before, but I thought it was lovely."

I think her comment was lovely.

We had several such hitches. One of my two best friends, Stuart, along with the wedding photographer were almost late to the service because they went to the wrong church. Ronald had been my choice for Best man, but he was in the service and couldn't get a pass. Ironically, at the time of my wedding one of his uncles died and he did get leave for the funeral.

The Maid-of-Honor had a series of slight mishaps as well as the dropping of the ring. She accidentally stepped on my wife's gown and put a heel through it. She also walked down the aisle with her bouquet turned backward. But so what, we still got married.

In the last slides you see my wife attempt to toss the bridal bouquet to the waiting single ladies. On the first try she threw too high, hit the ceiling and the flowers dropped straight down to the floor. She succeeded on her second attempt.

See, life is full of the unexpected, which become the memorable.