Lois was up and
down in mood all that summer, but I saw nothing out of the ordinary, not that I had anything to
compare her mood swings to. Still, I counted it as normal and perhaps the
hormonal changes that came with pregnancy, once it was establish that she was.
We all assumed her bouts of illness were attributable to the pregnancy, and
perhaps a growing sleep problem she had developed as well. Let's face it, expecting a baby is a convenient reason for everything.
She was beginning to
complain more about the neighbors. She had always been stand-offish, but now she viewed them with a growing amount of
suspicion, especially the Andrews. I could not fathom her dislike of these
people. My only real experience with Frank Andrews was a bit embarrassing, but
hardly hostile
In really began as a simple gesture of neighborliness. Andrews, The
neighbors on our west side were Hispanic. The husband was Frank Andrews, but I
forget the first names of his wife and two children, a boy and girl. The children were very young, pre-school. I know
Andrews doesn’t sound very Hispanic. Maybe he wasn’t and just his wife was. It
“don’t make no never mind”, as my Grandmother used to say. Who cares what his ethnicity was? The husband had
observed me with the guitar as we moved in.
I really don’t know what possessed me to purchase the
instrument. I had not done well learning the clarinet because it required
fingering with both hands. Why then a guitar that took all
your fingers? On top of that, because of my hearing problem I had a horrendous
time trying to tune it. When I moved into General Warren Village I had yet to
learn how to play.
One day, Frank saw me outside and sauntered over.
“I see you have a guitar,” he said.
“Yeah, but I really don’t play.”
“That’s all right,” he said. He pointed up the street. “I play guitar and got this friend up the
street does as well. We get together each week, every Thursday. Why don’t you
join us this week?”
“Thank, but I don’t play very well.” I waved a dismissive hand as I said it. (“Don’t play very well?” Truth be told,
I barely played at all. I could plink the strings.)
He wouldn’t take no for an answer, assuming I was only being
modest.
“Ahh, don’t worry about that,” He said. "We’re all amateurs. Just
for fun. Nobody’s gonna hear us.”
So I agreed like a fool, too afraid of offending to say no.
The next Thursday he met me at my door and we walked up the
street together, he carrying a nice guitar case, me with mine slung over my
shoulder like a sack of flour. With my lack of ability on the instrument, it
may as well have been a sack of floor. We sat there and strummed the strings
and Frank suddenly stopped, looked at me, and said:
“You really don’t know how to play, do you?”
I never had another guitar get together with those two guys.
Andrews was quite polite and all about it, but I was feeling pretty silly as I
slunk out of there and went home.
I did eventually teach myself how to play the instrument --
sort of.
Meanwhile Lois was becoming more frustrated with what
she considered our isolation. Even though she had her driver’s license, she
continued to be very reliant on me taking us anywhere.
Looking back on those early years of our marriage I am rather
stunned and ashamed by how dependent we had become on my parents. Although Lois will say
today that my folks did nothing for us, except criticize her, my own opinion is we
had become quite the leeches. We were constantly running to my folks or they
were coming to do for us. The single month of March is a good sample.
On March 2 we were at my parents around 1:00 PM, from where we
went shopping in Pottstown with my grandmother. We came back from town and ate supper
there
We were back to my parents
around noon on the 12th and had lunch, then returned in the evening for dinner.
March 16 we came up, but they weren’t home.
We arrived at noon, lunchtime on March 17 and then
my Dad took us all on a 35 mile ride above Harrisburg to show how ice had broken along the Susquehanna River. It had piled up and torn down houses and cabin walls along the road. I’m pretty sure we stopped for dinner on the way home and I’m pretty sure Dad treated.
We brought my grandmother up to our place on the 19th
and she stayed over until March 21. During that stay she helped Lois do housework and cooking.
I sort of
reciprocated on the morning of March 23. I was in Bucktown during the morning
to rake their grounds, but I was also freeloading by getting some cement blocks
to take home. (Later on, in the fall, my dad and Mr. Heaney would spend a day
at our home using those cement blocks to lay a walk behind our house.) Lois and
I returned by 4:00 in the afternoon for supper and then went with mom and grandmother’s
Married Couples club to Philadelphia to see the Cinerama movie, “How the West
was Won”, a film that probably did better showing the vistas in widescreen than the multi-star cast did with the plot.
By the end of the month I was bringing my burnable trash up
to dispose of and on the 27th my grandmother was mending Lois
clothes. I took Lois into Philly to the doctor on the 29th (we still
didn’t know what was going on with her) and the next day we were back to my
parents in the evening.
This type of thing went on for the next three months and
beyond, actually. We had been doing this since our wedding and we would
continue so for at least a couple more years, with the added feature of
sponging money off my parents regularly in the year ahead.
Dave Claypoole told me on a number of occasions that I should consider college. He was
attending Temple University in the evenings and explained that I could do the
same. I could enter classes as a non-matriculating student. I wouldn’t need to
take the SATs or anything. Atlantic even offered a partial tuition refund program. I
never knew college was possible for someone like me. Those supposed counselors from the state labor bureau who came to my school said I was only good for running a machine, which was exactly what I was doing. No one, including those alleged career experts, ever told me about
such things as evening college. I decided to give it a shot.
I registered at Temple University for the Summer Session. I
signed up for one course, Sociology 101: Introduction. I believed this would
give me an indication if I could do college or not. I thought Sociology would
be a good subject for a writer to know. I begin attending a two-hour class
three evenings a week.
I found the course interesting and stimulating. We had to
study four other books besides
the main text, all squeezed into the shortened summer session. Man Alone: Alienation in Modern Society edited by Eric and Mary Josephson was
the most fascinating one to me. The book touched me in a personal way, I mean, I always felt somewhat alienated from the world around me.
Oddly, the confessions of a mugger that were told within
those pages imbued me with a habit that stayed with me my whole life. I stopped shining my
shoes. The mugger told how he selected his victims. He would look at the shoes.
If a man came by with dusty and scoffed shoes, he would pass him up, figuring
he was probably down on his luck and didn’t have much of value. If a man walked
into his path with well shined shoes, then that was a man of means and he would
be the man mugged.
I got an A for the course. On the last day the professor
approached me as I was leaving. He asked me what my plans were.
I explained I had
just taken the course to find out if I could do college work.
He told me, “If what you did here is a sample of what you can
do, then you definitely should continue in college.”
I took him at his word and I registered for four courses in
the coming fall semester.
Except Lois was pregnant.
1 comment:
Lar,
It's a shame that we weren't able to go to college straight out of high school. Of course you were qualified to go to college. I wonder how much our lives would be different now had we done so.
Another super post of your life history Lar!
Ron
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